How To Make Friends And Keep Them Plr Ebook

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Table of Contents

Chapter 1:
Are You Really Ready for More Friends?
Chapter 2:
Where to Look for Friends Suitable to Your Tastes?
Chapter 3:
Breaking the Ice with New People – The First Step to a Potential Friendship
Chapter 4:
Watering the Sapling of Your Friendship Fern
Chapter 5:
Taking Your Friendship to New Levels
Chapter 6:
The More, the Merrier
Chapter 7:
Being a Friend Yourself
Chapter 8:
Making Your Friendship Permanent
Chapter 9:
Where Lines are Drawn Even in the Closest of Friendships
Chapter 10:
Ensuring that You Remain a Friend-Maker Forever

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Where to Look for Friends Suitable to Your Tastes

God can come to you in any form at any time. We don’t realize when or how He comes. The same is with friends. Friends are all around us. We just don’t realize who they are. Most times, we lose potential friendships just because we are too preoccupied with ourselves. Sometimes, we do not even venture out to find where these potential friends are.

The truth is, friends are everywhere. They are meeting you all the time but there are some reservations that are keeping you from getting closer to them. Since now you have decided to find permanent friends, you can actually set out to look for them. Where do you find them then? Everywhere, yes, but where exactly?

Let us see how easy it is to find the friends you are looking for.

Join a Club or a Class

So your busy schedule does not allow you to meet more people apart from those that are working with you? Well, then use your weekends to the hilt. Join a club or a class for a subject that really interests you. Like French? Join a French speaking class. Like tennis? Join a club and play tennis there. It could be anything you like; there’s always a club or a class for that. People of all types are found in such places and since you are doing something together, the atmosphere is very conducive to friendships.

The best part of finding friends through these avenues is that these people are also interested in the same things as you are. So you already have something to talk about if an opportunity for conversation posed itself. If you are in a cooking class, you are going to start talking about cooking with others. This breaks the ice and slowly the conversation can veer toward other things.

The teachers or coaches in such places are already trained on how to foster friendships. They even do this from a business perspective. They are told that if they make people feel more comfortable in the class or the club, they are likelier to bring other people to join. Hence, they make sure everyone gets to know the other.

Be Active in the Church

No one asks you questions about why you are doing something for the church. In fact, it is looked upon as a very good thing. And the great bonus is that you can make good friends here. People who attend masses are people of faith and when they you doing things for the institution, they are going to like you and try to get in touch with you. People who are active in church get more invitations to weddings and other celebrations, which is a great way to meet new people who could be friends.

Attend Social Events

Got invited to a function that you plan on skipping? Don’t do that. Go wherever you are invited. These are the places where some people know you and where you have a chance to get introduced to a lot more unknown people. Next time you get an invite, don’t turn it down casually.

Make Friends Online

There are hundreds of social networking sites where you can make friends. Facebook, MySpace, Friendster are just some names that come to mind. These are places where you can find likeminded people and communicate with them. You can build groups, message them directly, chat with them and maybe even meet them personally if it is possible and if you find they are right for you. There are some drawbacks here, such as you cannot meet the people in their flesh and blood at least initially and that you need to have some knowledge of using the Internet. However, this is the new trend about people meeting new people and making friends.

Summary

Now, you meet new people. Bu, how do you start communicating with them?

Breaking the Ice with New People – The First Step to a Potential Friendship

The next step in making friends is most crucial. You have begun meeting people, actually, you do see a lot of people with your common interests all around you. Probably each and every one of them is a potential future friend. But, now the task is upon you to approach them. You have to break the ice with them, so to speak.

This is a difficult job, more so when you consider that the first impression is the only impression that matters. If you set out on a wrong foot, it isn’t going to bode well.

Be relaxed. First of all, don’t take this so seriously. Think about what happens if your friendship does strike a chord. You are going to share the most intimate details with each other, probably. You are going to be very comfortable hanging out with each other. Picture that in your mind. Now, that makes you much more confident about meeting this person, doesn’t it?

First of all, don’t approach the person at the wrong time. If you see them doing something else, it’s not the right time. But if they are waiting alone, or even if they are with a group of friends that they are comfortable with, it could be a good time to approach them.

Be very, very casual. Don’t pretend to do anything, just be what you are. Ask if you can join them first, and you will be almost certainly invited. Don’t plan on any speech in advance. Let it just flow. The best way to open a conversation is to give just one casual comment about what’s happening. “The class went too long, didn’t it?”, “It’s a good time of the year, I think”, “Did you agree with that?”, etc. are good openers. Don’t begin with impertinent questions like, “Why are you here?” and “Who are you waiting for?” Be tactful. Be general. Don’t speak about yourself too much.

This question is just a feeler. When you ask your initial question, the person will almost certainly respond, but it is the weight of the answer that should be your deciding factor. Is the answer short, almost to the point of snappy? That means the person doesn’t appreciate your presence. Move elsewhere. Is the answer friendly, but not interested? That means the person has something else in their mind rather than talking with you at the moment. Politely excuse yourself and wait for another time them. Is the person very enthusiastic about you being there and gives you a very detailed answer, asking some questions of their own? You have it made then, indulge in great conversation with them.

When you meet a new person, your nervousness lasts just one question. Once you have made your initial comment, the response sets you immediately at ease, whether it is positive or negative. If it is positive, you become more comfortable speaking with that person and if it is negative, you can easily excuse yourself and look for friends elsewhere. Hence, it is no big deal really. Breaking the ice is not much of a problem.

Summary

Friendship, like a delicate plant, needs to be nurtured.

Watering the Sapling of Your Friendship Fern

The first few days of your new friendship will actually decide whether your friendship will last forever or will wither away. Now, friendships might happen automatically, but if you want them to last forever, you have to chip in some efforts.

It is much like a potted sapling. It is very small and delicate at the moment. You have to water it, give it proper fertilizer, place it in gentle sunshine, etc. so that it thrives.

Even with friendship, you have to do some things. This begins with your first meeting with the person itself, the ‘breaking the ice’ part. Once you have found a person you like, make sure that you open up an avenue to meet them again. If it is a class or club, you don’t have to worry, because you know they will be there again. But sometimes friendships happen in the strangest of places, while waiting for a bus, for example. When you meet people in such uncertain places, you could close the conversation by giving your name. They will likely reciprocate by giving theirs. Then, give them your number or ask if they would like to meet you somewhere, like in a coffee shop, for some casual banter. Probably set this up for the weekend. This is an important step, because here is where their genuine interest in you is shown along.

Even if you are meeting someone at a regular place, make sure you don’t come on too heavily on them. Let some ‘chance’ conversations happen between you, and opportunities to meet will occur. Like, you might accompany on their way home or even take a detour for a bite somewhere.

Lasting friendships are those that start out on the right foot. We have already mentioned that, but this will be important throughout your initial days. It is good manners to listen. Keep everything that they say in mind. Remember their name, what they do, where they live, the people that they talk about, etc. You may not realize how important a good memory is for a lasting friendship. If you remember things about them during your successive visits, things are going to be much better.

Don’t sell yourself too much. You might be zealous in making this person like you, but don’t give out too much information about yourself. Let your topics flow. Speak in relation to what they are speaking. Don’t create topics from the wind, just as fillers. That makes the outing boring.

Also, don’t be too pushy at first. If you have met somewhere, don’t be too greedy for another outing very soon. Get the right feeling from them first. If they are eager to meet you again, plan on a nearer date. Or best, ask them to suggest when you would meet next. You will really have it made if you ask them to bring their other friends along the next time. That makes it concrete in their mind that you like them for what they are.