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Table of Contents
Introduction: Why Self-Confidence Changes Everything ………….. 5
No, Really ……….. 6
Chapter 1: Defining Confidence …………… 12
The Subtle Difference 14
Be Kind, Be Yourself .. 16
Chapter 2: The Decisive Action-Taker ………………. 20
Overcoming Risk Aversion …….. 21
Social Pressure and Diffusion of Responsibility ………… 24
Chapter 3: Overcoming Social Anxiety – Be Socially Bulletproof ………. 26
Where Does Social Anxiety Come From? ………… 27
How to Overcome This …………….. 28
A Brief Primer on CBT ………… 29
Cognitive Restructuring ……… 31
Chapter 4: Social Nootropics .. 34
Social Nootropics That Work and That Don‘t ….. 35
Chapter 5: Combating Chronic Low-Esteem … 38
Chapter 6: Knowing Your Mission ……… 43
Charisma ………. 44
Being in Flow 45
Chapter 7: The Confidence of Success ……………. 47
Rock Solid Confidence in Your Pursuits …………….. 48
The Law of Attraction . 49
Chapter 8: Fit, Strong and Stylish ………. 51
Style for Men and Women ……… 52
Physique ……….. 54
Chapter 9: The Most Powerful Tool: Meditation …………… 57
How to Get Started With Meditation……. 58
Chapter 10: Putting it All Together: How to be Magnetic ………… 60
Conclusion: Confidence Checklist …….. 62
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ostracized and left out in the cold would end up dying out as a result of less access to food and resources and less protection from predators.
So maybe Uncle Jimmy died out because he was unsocial and he got evicted from his group. Survival at least partly comes down to a popularity contest. Think of it a little bit like Big Brother!
But social success is not just a binary matter. It is not a case of being accepted into the group or not being accepted. It‘s also true that you can exist within that group at different levels. So, you have your alphas and your queens. These are the individuals that rise to the top of the ladder and which command the most respect. They are generally physically more intimidating, they are generally more intelligent and they are generally ‗wealthier in terms of what they have access to.
These alphas get their choice of mate, they get first pickings when it comes to food and they get to sleep on the most comfortable pile of hay in the cave.
Point is, that being alpha means you are more likely than anyone else to survive and to thrive even more so. If you are an omega, if you are the jester of the group, then you don‘t get fed as well and you become much more likely to get killed when you go out hunting and gathering.
So, how do you ensure that this doesn‘t happen to you?
What‘s more, is that the alpha of the group or those that are higher up in the pecking order, will get access to the best mates. And I am talking strictly objectively here. These are the best mates in terms of their genetic potential (which, by the way, is how we decide who we find most attractive).
If you are an alpha male, then you can offer better genetics, more resources and more safety for your offspring. And this is why women find you more attractive.
Likewise, if you are the alpha female, the same thing goes. You are the envy of every man, and this sends out a powerful social signal that lets you have your pick of the men.
And guess what? Nothing has changed. We might consider ourselves to be more civilized and advanced today. But the reality is that we are still operating by precisely the same rules.
Women find men attractive who are:
Physically strong (good genetic material, good protection) Funny (intelligent – good genetic material, socially in-tune) Intelligent (good genetic material)
Stylish (wealthy and socially in-tune, good social standing) Wealth (good protection/provisions)
Masculine (good genetic material, good protection)
Kind, generous (socially in-tune, good social standing)
Men find women attractive who are:
Physically attractive (good genetic material)
Conventionally attractive (social signal that they are ‗in-demand‘)
Funny (intelligent – good genetic material, socially in-tune) Stylish (wealthy and socially in-tune, good social standing) Well presented (this is a trick that enhances their apparent
genetic material)
Kind, generous (socially in-tune, good social standing)
As you can see, all of the traits that we look for in a partner ultimately boil down to directly enhancing the strength and resources of ourselves and our offspring, while also climbing the social ranks in order to ensure better access to resources in both cases.
And the same thing even happens when we choose friends. We are naturally drawn to people who are generous and friendly because they can help to provide us with more resources. And at the same time, we are also drawn to people who are alphas – because by associating ourselves with those people, we can thereby raise our own social status and thus our own access to mates and resources.
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- Year Released/Circulated: 2022
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