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Table of Contents
Introduction 04
Chapter 1: 8 Mindsets that Crush Personal Contentment 07
Chapter 2: Choosing to Accept Yourself is Not a Cop-out 21
Chapter 3: If You Don’t Accept Yourself, Who Will? 30
Chapter 4: Self-acceptance is Crucial to Self-Respect and Self-Love 34
Chapter 5: The Foundation of Acceptance: Letting Go of Harmful Perfection 38
Chapter 6: Honestly Acknowledge Your Flaws 41
Chapter 7: Quit Apologizing For Your Flaws 47
Chapter 8: Turning Your Flaws into Assets 51
Chapter 9: Know Your Limits 55
Chapter 10: Learn to Move On 59
Conclusion 62
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The French enlightenment philosopher Jean Jacques Rousseau famously said that “Man was born free, but everywhere he is in chains.” Of course, Rousseau meant this in political terms, but this is also true in spiritual and emotional terms.
Most of the time, we hold the key to the mental prisons that we live in. We define the world in neat, tidy little boxes that spell out what we can and cannot do, who we can and cannot be, and where we can and cannot go.
Almost all of this is arbitrary, but they are all too real because we make them real by believing in them.
We were born free, but we refuse to turn the lock of the mental prison that we choose to be in. And much of this situation can be tied to 8 mindsets that work to hold us back and drag us down.
Oftentimes, we’re unaware that we have these mindsets. Still, the sooner you get out from under the influence of these, the sooner you will live a life of adventure, meaning, fulfillment and, paradoxically enough, control.
See if you can identify any of the following mindsets. Letting go of them prepares you to live life to your fullest potential.
You Have to Always Be In Control
The first mindset that crushes personal contentment is the very idea that you must always be in control of all areas of your life.
Now, it doesn’t take much human experience to figure out just how wrong this is. You’ve heard of Murphy’s Law: the worst things happen at the worst time. You probably also know that life is what happens when you have other plans.
Life has its own agenda. It spins on its own axis, regardless of our best laid plans. And unfortunately, the more we choose to believe that we have to be always in control, the less likely we will be happy.
You see, when it comes to life, you have to give it a lot of wiggle room. You can set goals, you can plan ahead, but ultimately, at the end of the day, you have to accept what you get out of the process.
Nine times out of ten, if you take care of things the right way and you put in the best effort, things will pan out roughly the way you want it. It’s not going to be perfect, it’s not going to fit the exact picture that you had when you were planning your goal, but it can come close enough.
Unfortunately, if we believe that we always have to be in control, we rob ourselves of the joy of achievement. We can never quite seem to get there because we feel that we did not control all the variables. We refuse to be happy.
Everyone Cares About What’s Going On In Your Life
Another debilitating mindset that holds people back is the idea that the world is a stage and they are at the center of the spotlight.
I don’t know how to tell you this, but there are 8 billion people on this planet, and the number is continuing to grow. Everybody’s got enough problems of their own.
While it may seem that everybody makes a big deal of your shortcomings and personal drama, at the end of the day, they don’t really care. They’ve got too much on their plate already.
Still, we would like to believe that everyone cares about what’s going on in our life. It’s as if we’re in a microscope.
What we’re really doing is we are mentally putting ourselves in the center of the universe, which is the farthest place from where we really are. It gives us a sense of control. It definitely gives us a sense of importance.
But the problem is, the more you believe that everyone cares about what’s going on in your life, the more likely you will try to live your life to please others. This is a serious problem because you have to live your life based on what matters to you.
Of course, this has limits. You can’t live your life to harm other people. You can’t live your life in a way that other people are hurt. But at the end of the day, you have to live your life for yourself.
You have to take care of yourself. Self-care is the foundation of responsibility.
Unfortunately, the more we hang on to this distorted belief that people really care about what’s going on in our lives and look to us as some sort of center of gravity, the more likely we would live our lives to please other people or to live up to impossible standards.
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